I Know
by illyna
Summary: A dark fic from Seifer's P.O.V. I'm not sure if I like this or hate this now... Please review!


I Know.  
-----------  
  
You don't know how long I've wanted,  
To touch your lips and hold you tight,  
You don't know how long I've waited,  
And I was gonna tell you tonight,  
But the secret is still my own,  
And my love for you is still unknown,  
Alone.  
  
  
  
****  
  
She is too pale- even for her. It is if her already alabaster skin had been drained, leaving nothing but a blank canvas. A canvas marked by a violent artist, marred by a slashed streak of crimson. The jagged cut edges from forehead to jaw line. I wince as I look at it, picturing its cause, cringing at the sheer brutality.  
  
I long to reach out, and run my fingers down the imperfection. Mutter a curaga, and blitz the wound out of existence.  
  
It was too late. I could do nothing. Death had come and separated us with one almighty slash of scythe.  
  
Ironic really, the after going through so much together; time travel, evil sorceresses, episodic battles, that the posse would be torn asunder by something as trivial as a car accident.  
  
As I had floated around the crash site, I had heard the words "break failure" mentioned. No miracle cures had healed the wounds inflicted. I had laughed bitterly, almost hysterically. I never did know when to stop.  
  
I study her, etching every detail, every tiny feature into my memory before we are separated. Maybe for good…maybe forever.   
  
The shining cap of silver hair, the ruby of the eye, the stubborn clench of the jaw, the tiny, but deceptively strong form. So unlike all the others I have ever known.  
  
Countless fights we had stood back to back, battling unknown assailants. Laughing. Staring death right in the face.  
  
Together.  
  
But a goddamn car accident! The Gods were mocking…  
  
I reach out to touch her one last time, but I can't. All I see is the blinding rain. All I hear is the screech of breaks. All I smell is the burning of petrol.  
  
"I'm sorry Fuu. It wasn't meant to be this way."  
  
I had wanted a happily ever after.  
  
****  
  
The sound of footsteps startles me back to reality. The infirmary door cracks open, to reveal a dishevelled Raijin. I retreat back to a dark corner.  
  
Damn. He is taking it just as hard. Eyes bloodshot, giant fists trembling.  
  
He's a wreck…but I need him to be the strong one now: mentally and physically.   
  
I can't be.  
  
I watch as he approaches the inert form of Fujin. He looks unsure of himself: a shadow without its master.  
  
After an age, he brings himself to touch her. Swaying uneasily on his feet, he places one giant paw on her shoulder.  
  
Gently, so gently, as if she may break.  
  
"Fujin," he begins, soft and as smooth as velvet. At her lack of response he almost dissolves into tears once again. There have been a lot of tears.  
  
Finally… so very slowly, as if the movement physically hurts, she turns to face him. Her eye fixes on his face, on his demeanour.  
  
Then, still emotionless, she turns back and looks at the body on the table.  
  
My body.  
  
My dead body.  
  
****  
  
  
But my time on this planet is growing short, and I so desperately need to know that they, that she, will be all right. To survive without the knight that led them.  
  
Raijin stands behind her, hand still on shoulder. His very presence comforts her. It always has, even though Fujin doesn't have the word to show that it does. You hurt the ones you love the most, as a form of discipline. If they stay, they truly love you back. Kicking Raijin is a touchstone for her.  
  
They are brother is sister in every way except blood. Their bond is a chosen one, and runs so much deeper.  
  
Raijin wouldn't leave her.  
  
Ever.  
  
I'm going to miss them both like hell. I don't want to go wherever beckons me.  
  
****  
  
Fujin is moving again. Her limbs are jerky, and with good reason, having been watching over my body for the last twelve hours straight.  
  
Tilting her head up to the light, squinting a little, she looks defeated. A lost soul, tortured by what she has locked inside of her head.  
  
Then, brokenly, she speaks.  
  
"Raijin… I never told him…"  
  
The big man stares at her, and for a few silent moments, she stares back. Prone, unable to move, like a rabbit caught in headlights.  
  
Then, suddenly, as if all the energy in her body has been expended, she collapses. She is scooped up into bulging biceps and rocked.  
  
I've never seen Fujin cry…body wracked with sobs, breath coming in gasps, having, wailing. Letting out everything that should have been let out long ago. My heat breaks for her.  
  
She cries for the part, the torture of the present, and for the future that will never be. She clutches at Raijin, as if he is her only lifeline in this sea of despair. And he holds her, and soothes her.  
  
And cries with her.  
  
****  
  
She is all cried out. Cradled in his arms, all she lets out is the occasional soundless shudder. Head pressed against his cheat, fingers clutching tightly at his.  
  
She looks so small, so fragile. If I had a life I would give it for her.  
  
But the healing had begun. They will be all right, they have each other, and they have memories of better times.  
  
I feel myself being pulled away. I don't wish to go yet, the road chosen for me is dark and cold. But somewhere, I know, there is light. Sliding away from this plane of existence, the last thing I hear is Raijin's booming voice.  
  
"He knew, ya know, Fujin."  
  
And I do know.  
  
And I love her too.  
  
  
The End  
--------------------------  
Disclaimer:  
  
None of these characters belong to me… (Worships at the altar of Squaresoft.) Please don't sue me! I am a student, and literally penniless. (Opens up purse and tips out a stick of gum and an old hanky).   
See!  
  
I'm getting nothing out of this 'cept mental stimulation.  
  
And reader comments.  
  
This means you!!  
  
Lady_illyna@hotmail.com  
  
  
Lyrics are from "Alone" by Heart. (Taken from the "Bad Animals" album). This is a beautiful beautiful song! Go and get it now!  
This is the end of the public service announcement.  
  
  
  
  
  



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